Red Christmas
Part One
‘Twas the Night Before Chaos
Snow falls
Jingle bells are ringing
Elven maids are singing
Santa Claus is bringing
Death.
The snow is slathered with blood.
A fat, jolly man with bloodied knife
Gives a grotesque sneer.
Before him, on the ground,
Lies Rudolph, the red-bellied Reindeer.
With this, Santa hops into his sled
Three of his nine reindeer gone.
Beside him, Edie, the leather-bound, elven witch-nymph
Says, “Santy, you’re such a turn-on.”
Laughing sardonically,
The old man cracks his whip
Holding the list of bad boys and girls
He sets out on his worldwide trip.
Back at home, Mrs. Claus
Still holds the other list
Lying in her pool of blood
With it held in her clenched fist.