Lovin’ In the Oven
The children of the Johnson family
Sat looking very, very down
Waiting for their dinner
Upon their faces only frowns
But Mr. Johnson ignored them
His mind growing number and number
The wife had finally left him
Having run off with the plumber.
Then, suddenly, from nowhere
In a sudden burst of joy
Popping into the kitchen
Was the Pilsbury Doughboy!
“Hey Dad! If your family’s really hungry,
Try something new for dinner.
My Poppin’ Fresh Pizza
Is a sure-fire winner!”
But the dad was in no mood
For this commercial-crazy fluke.
The doughboy’s cutesy antics
Would surely make him puke.
So when the fat, little dough ball
Said, “Nothing says lovin’…”
The father cracked a little smile
And fired up the oven.
Where he was, the Pilsbury
Mascot could not tell
But in a fiery instant
He found himself in Hell.
Through the oven door, the father watched
His face no longer a frown
As he watched the little doughboy
Turn a toasty, golden brown.
The kids sat at the dinner table
And though they had no money
Their triumphant patron now announced,
“Kids! Tonight, we eat calzone!”
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