The Hellbound Heart Bear
Bedtime Bear pleaded, “Please, no more.”
The ball gag made it hard to breathe
And the ropes had made his paws sore.
It’s not that the plushy didn’t care
He just wasn’t quite the right companion
For the insatiable Bondage Bear.
But such news she’d expected already
In her quest for extreme experience
She’d burned through many a teddy.
So sifting through toys both old and new
She found the strange object obtained
From a scary derelict outside the Puzzle Zoo.
Neither fuzzy handcuffs nor scented lube
The arcane little varnished box
Was more like an ancient Chinese Rubik’s Cube.
Fumbling at its polished surfaces galore
She wished upon forbidden things
As practiced so many times before.
Then something inside the little box ticked,
A clockwork whirring and music movement melody
As a surface design popped, rotated, clicked.
An eerie, strange light, unearthly blue
Filled the room as a distant tolling of bells
Ushered a leather-clad figure into view.
His head a mutilated grid, a pin at each juncture
Jutting out at all odd angles
A victim of extreme acupuncture.
Bondage Bear thought long, she thought hard
Of whom this could be. “That’s it!”
She said, “You’re the Borg Captain Picard!”
“Uh? Who? What?” came his retort
“You insolent little ball of fluff!”
“Your pain shall be cocaine for me to snort!”
So said the creature sadistically dressed.
But despite his cold demeanor
The jaded little Care Bear was not impressed.
Just then, a little voice came from behind.
“Step aside, Pinhead,” it said.
“This one is one of my kind.”
Thus, the cenobite’s expression fell
And stepping aside, meekly revealed
A Care Bear out of Hell.
In her darkest, wildest dreams
Bondage Bear could not have foreseen
A bear of gashes, hooks, and stuffing out the seams.
His button blue eyes pale and cracked
Exposed filling blood-stained
And fur covering jet black.
Immune to the cheeriest Care Bear Stare
A demon-toy from Outer Darkness…
Behold the Hellbound Heart Bear.
“How…how can this be?” her fear now stirred.
“It’s simple,” Hellbound replied,
“You called…we answered.”
His words were punctuated by hooks and chains
As the puzzle box rattled again to life,
Bondage was punctured by a dozen rusty pains.
The demon bear stood there, grinning.
“The consumption of your plush,”
He said, “Will be only the beginning.”
For her sins, the price would now be paid
As Bondage Bear was sucked into Hell,
She’d never again appraise as “Collector’s Grade”.
9/25 – 10/3/2006
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